The Art Of Being Proactive, Not Reactive.

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour.” — Henry David Thoreau

Or, put more simply: “We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond.”

Welcome to the first ever weekly lesson, where I share an insight into something I learnt this week, sometimes through a book, other times through experience.

Don’t think of this as me being a teacher lecturing you with all my knowledge. No, think of me as a test dummy. I go out and look for useful information, try it in my own life, and report back on the most useful thing I learnt that week.

This week’s lesson comes from Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The first habit is being proactive. Here’s what I’ve learnt so far about proactivity.

There are three widely accepted theories of determinism (the idea that something determines who you are as a person):

1. Genetic determinism says your ancestors did it to you. It’s like saying:

“You are an angry person and lash out because your grandparents did. It’s in your DNA. It gets passed down through the generations, and you happened to inherit it.”

2. Psychic determinism says your childhood did it. It’s like saying:

“You are an angry person because you had a stressful childhood and upbringing, which shaped your character and personal tendencies.”

3. Environmental determinism says that something or someone in your environment is responsible for your situation. It’s like saying:

“You are an angry person because your work is very stressful and you have a boss you hate. Not only that, but you and your partner are always fighting. It’s not your fault; you are simply a product of your environment.”

The basic idea behind these theories is that our character is determined by outside events: that we have no say in who we are, and that we are shaped by what happens to us.

While those three things can strongly influence our character, they don’t control it. We’re behind the wheel, and those three things are like the road beneath us. They can make the ride bumpier and affect how much damage the car takes. But at the end of the day, the road doesn’t choose where we end up. We do.

“Between stimulus (what happens to us or has happened to us) and our response lies our power and freedom to choose. And in those choices lie our growth and our happiness.” — Stephen R. Covey

This is the first step in becoming a proactive person: realising that you aren’t determined by what happens to you, and that you can choose the person you become.